Sometimes I can't wait to leave the house. Not because I can't stand it... or anything like that, but because I feel like a lot of the things I'm cynical about now I'll be able to appreciate from a distance. A four hundred mile distance, no less. Anyways, I'm up early. I was supposed to be taking care of Bobby today, but I got the day off at the last minute. Since this is the first Monday I haven't had to spend babysitting I really want to go to Ridgemoor. I always want to go there on Mondays. That tradition faded all too quickly. Hopefully, that will happen.
I also didn't sleep well last night. There's a lot on my mind. Yesterday felt like a very climactic day and I had a lot of thoughts to sift through before my head was unclouded enough to get some rest. The brunch, or picnic as little Timmok likes to call it, was wonderful. I drank a mimosa. I'm not sure why I chose to share that out of everything that took place yesterday morning/early afternoon. I suppose I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm not an alcoholic, but I really like mimosas! Aside from my substance abuse, I was generously piled down with college gear from all of the relatives. Isa and Lucy, similarly, made me going away cards and notes. It was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me. Grandma and Grandpa were glowing as always. It's crazy to think about sixty-two years. That's insurmountable. That's wonderful. Uncle Tom was even there, which proved a nice surprise. I can't recall the last time I saw him.
Long after the festivities I went to Gordana's house to say goodbye. It was my first "college farewell" and I felt somewhat unprepared. I had written her a note and printed out some pictures of us from this summer. We ended up talking for a few hours, which, of course, was not the plan. When I finally decided to leave for real, we just said "see you later" as planned. It seemed much more fitting. We've been best friends since third grade, just around ten years now, and I truly doubt college will cause any amount of harm to that friendship. Everything is happening very quickly now and I'm worried that I'm not holding on tight enough.
8 comments:
Tina, I wouldn't know what its like to say goodbye to someone i know that well but i guess as grandpa would say-Your doing something great =)
Tina,
My compliments, you have discovered perhaps your first major life event!
Just so you are not caught off guard, here is a list of other major life events, courtesy of your friend at AIG: http://www.aigretirement.com/LifeEvents_82_16451.html
(j/k)
Life, they say, is a series of transitions. I kind of study these things. I'm fighting the urge to suggest readings--you don't want to read the Iliad or the Odyssey or the Epic of Gilgamesh, essentially they are *very* Human tales; tales that tell us what it is to be human. (Did you know our myths are really sort of educational tales on how to be human?)
I only mention those by way of trying to show to you that the very earliest emo-people felt what you feel.
I think there must be some comfort in this--to know that even the great soul Einstein suffered the slings and arrows of missing his family and friends. Consider that when he was your age he actually renounced his German citizenship because they were way too uptight for the theoretical physics that he went on to invent.
My good friend U.S. Grant was sent away from his home at a young age to go to military academy. He was not from a rich family and got in through a loophole his parents found out about. He wasn't even the brightest graduate, but went on to great heroics being a warrior he never wanted to be.
Life is so very trying. I agree. But it is all worth it because of the strangeness and the wonders. I too miss people very much, you all at home included. But I happily follow the path before me. If you try to do the same, I promise you will not be disappointed. :)
I know this isn't the Glass family blog, but ....
Seymour once said that all we do our whole lives is go from one little piece of Holy Ground to the next.
brothers - you have no idea how much your words mean to me :)
Tina,
Can you send me or e-mail me a picture of your new Hairdo? I would much appreciate it!
I wish I had words to deserve the gratitude you've given tom, dan, and jim.
What I am beginning to feel is that it is somewhat easy to take an exact replica of home with you wherever you go (via cell phones, internet, etc.) I use WoW to kill stress out here, and I drink a tea to remind me of being at peace at Knox. You can always take those kinda things with you. It's about finding a balance between home and something completely different.
If I had any advice for you it would be to embrace whatever you find out there at school while always remembering where you came from.
TeenTeen next time u go to ridgemoor lemme go with so i can "fix" your mcdonalds burger for u!!! I know u r vegetarian but had to put that here lol. Watch out for the freshman 15, they say your first year u gain 15 pounds...
Hi, Tina! Sorry to miss the picnic/brunch/mimosa binge session. I'm glad so many people were there to wish your granparents a happy anniversary and see you off to school! When do you leave? Or are you already there? Please let us know your new contact information once you're settled in.
I can relate to the weirdness about saying goodbye. That's one of the hardest things for me to handle, even if it's temporary. I actually cried every time I left for school - even up to senior year. I was really embarrassed about it every time because I knew I'd be fine. And I was - I loved being at school as soon as the goodbyes were over. Then I cried when I left school, since I wouldn't be living with my awesome roommate anymore. But as Tony said, cell phones, internet, etc. make staying in touch easier. Your brothers have some great advice. Except Jim - that link he posted is evil. Life condensed to pre-scripted steps and the all-important financial implications of each. Skip any of these steps, or do them out of order, and you are doomed. How awful. (Sorry, Jim - your REAL advice is great. Say hi to good old U.S. Grant for me.)
you will be just fine mi nina god would protect you and bless you everyday of you life.
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